I feel like the impact of mental health on our kids is everywhere, I've gotten so many good reads on how important mental health is for our kids, it's seems like everywhere I was getting studies that showed why I should pay attention, why "hard" parenting was probably not ideal. All of that was fine by me, but it did make me think... If I'm consuming 50 pieces of content on how to raise my kids every year that all pretty much reinforced the same message, where could I go to hear opposite viewpoints? This book was practical and a breath of fresh air. I don't ask my kids what they want for dinner, I cook and if they don't like it, that's fine they can get something else. I also say "because I said so" to my kids a lot. I could imagine the horror on other parents faces if they heard me, but to me I'm thinking ... I don't have to explain everything to you, I may choose to, but I'm not here to justify every single thing I do to you. I just feel a bit like a throwback parent. This book made me feel less crazy about that.

This book is informative and well researched, with some great recommendations. This is a true ‘should read.’

Abigail Schrier has done it again! She's taken on a controversial subject that is near and dear to most everyone. There are so many insightful reviews from smarter people than me above, so I will only say (while I sit in my 1,300 book library) that this is perhaps one the best, most important and relevant books I've ever read. Similar to when I've read great history, political, biographical or non-fictional CIA spy thrillers, Abigail's subject and storytelling mastery grabbed my attention from page one - all the way to conclusion. As we've been seeing in the news, the youngest generation is leaning on social media and iPhones more than face to face friend relations. They look to therapists versus parents for working out problems. Medication is often a first way to dull the brain from functioning normally and therefore halting problem solving skills. We're handicapping the kids. The school systems' embrace of social emotional learning (SEL) is also taking precedence over learning math, science and history. The schools should teach the subjects, the parents and friends should be the ones the kids look to share important aspects of their life help them work out their problems. The last two chapters covering why people have kids in the place, and why kids need parents involvement as first defense in coping with new experiences is genius. I've encouraged my (20-years-long middle school guidance counselor) wife to read, and I'm purchasing another copy for my son (who is parent of our four grandchildren). Monumental work by Ms. Schrier. I cannot wait for her next book!

Background to help you evaluate my review: I had a panic attack at age 26, began counseling and still participate. I am age 69 and fortunately have had 4 excellent counselors across the decades help me. The result: my quality of life has improved significantly due to their skilled, ethical, dedicated care. For years I have responsibly used psychotropic medication experiencing its benefits, limitations, and negative side effects. Current thinking is talk therapy used with meds, when indicated, can produce the most favorable patient outcomes. I concur. In fact, from 2010-13, at night I earned a MS in mental health counseling even though I am a financial advisor. With that thumbnail sketch, below is brief independent feedback I have received on two of the author’s topics. But first, my overall appraisal: I find Abigail’s book to be vital in highlighting issues that need to be considered and not merely assumed to be true/wise: therapy, medication, schooling, and parenting - and how they are intertwined. I am delighted that she is so well-known and talented as a journalist to focus attention on the most fundamental question: whether what we are doing is working or failing. It can benefit our nation if we have a discussion and accurate appraisal of where we are to fix what doesn’t work. Abigail bravely has gotten this debate started though I would be unsurprised if vested interests attack her, and continue sos. Unlike the false claims of her critics, she understands that there are circumstances when therapy and meds are appropriate. My view is that though well-intended, we have lost our way as a society in the areas she has underscored. I give our culture A++++ for our good intentions; however, outcomes must be evaluated candidly. Are we taking steps believing those actions are helpful when they are not? My view, we repeatedly utilize "Ready, fire, aim” to our detriment. Well-meaning adults have abdicated control thinking they are helping when they are harming. Here’s an example: In my career I meet people from an array of occupations who share personal info. The uniformity of opinion I receive from educators about what is occurring from primary to the university levels is bleak. The educators feel miserable and can’t wait to flee. Why? The bottom line is there’s no discipline permitted. They feel defeated that they can’t teach and will receive zero institutional support because everyone is afraid for their jobs and public/internet ridicule. To paraphrase teachers, the system has collapsed but since there’s a sign on the door “school," learning is presumed to be occurring when it is not. Note how many teachers choose to send their children to private school as an alternative. Look too at the explosive growth of homeschooling as a measure of concern for physical safety and efficacy. One educator told me the kids know the teachers can’t do anything disciplinary to them and behave accordingly. US academic performance has declined. US results versus nearly 30 other nations is appalling, though we spent so much more per child than competitor nations - and we are in competition whether we ignore that or not. The new bait and switch is to use SEL and pronounce schools as successful by downshifting academic measures replaced with SEL-focused yardsticks. The silver lining in the deadly COVID cloud is some parents got a glimpse of what their kids are being immersed in, were shocked and "voted with their feet" taking their children to be educated elsewhere. Look at the nightmare on college campuses over the past decade: skyrocketing anxiety, depression and suicides. Those results reflect Abigail’s concerns. The Anxious Generation, by J. Haidt, which I have begun, buttresses Shrier’s thesis. Overwhelmingly, employers tell me their younger workers behave completely differently, some don’t care about their performance, and except for excellent tech skills, they are surprisingly incapable, needy, demanding, and stunted. Please note: I am fortunate to know young people who do not fit the negative descriptions at school or work reported to me and are the polar opposite. Our sacred oxen have strayed from path and are at risk - and so is our society. At times I found her sarcasm humorous and at other times too snarky, but beyond that quibble, she has done a valuable service for our nation if we pause, consider, and act: what do we need to do differently to be more effective? —————— April 29th Addendum Finished reading Jonathan Haidt’s thoughtful, research-based, and prescriptive The Anxious Generation. It is excellent also. I rate it as Five Stars and have bought a second copy to gift. It serves as a helpful companion to Schrier’s work. I highly recommend it. I read his outstanding work, co-authored with Greg Lukianoff, The Coddling of The American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation For Failure, which is also a straightforward, easy read. Years ago I read, then reread his masterful and superb The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided By Politics And Religion. I found this work to be more challenging, and a fascinating hypothesis. Lastly, some of the one and two star reviews of Abigail’s book contained insightful, valid criticisms for which I am grateful. Still, I see the value in her work, despite its weaknesses, as having galvanized a needed review of current assumption and practices. Michael