Good read

I purchased this book in an attempt to get a better understanding of what this term "emotional intelligence" actually refers to and how it is measured. To be clear, EQ is not measured in a similar fashion as IQ. Instead, Goleman presents studies (some of which use data that come from self-reporting subjects), as well as institutional examples, that offer qualitative evidence that children who identify, understand, mitigate, and respond to emotions with cool-headedness, nuance, reason, and empathy not only fare better in school, but in adulthood. Conversely, Goleman makes the case that children who lack such skills have fewer friends, get into more altercations, perform more poorly academically, and go on to flounder in adulthood. All of the preceding makes for an engaging lesson for the reader; as well, Goleman has a clear, excellent writing style. To be clear, this title is not arranged or presented as a self-help book; however, there are a few passages that helped me identify some of my own emotional ignorance. For starters, the passage on page 69 that describes the way in which "worriers ... need to actively challenge the worrisome thoughts" offers several helpful questions the anxiety-ridden person should ask as a way to challenge and ultimately diffuse a nagging worry. Moreover, toward the end Goleman describes in great illuminating detail a useful example in which a school system integrated emotional lessons to its at-risk youth. I was able to extrapolate this to my own memories of poorly handling emotional responses in my relationships, and thus was able to rehearse how I would handle a similar situation again more positively and effectively in the future. I have, and will, refer to the aforementioned lessons, since, according to Goleman, practice not only makes perfect, but changes the brain in helpful ways to allow the reader more control over the hijacking lower emotional brain centers -- the relics from humanity's primitive days when such centers were more useful when orderly societies didn't exist and mortal danger awaited us at every turn. There are only two drawbacks to this book. For one, it is quite repetitive. I often found myself pausing while reading and wondering, "did I already read this, or is he repeating himself?" Honestly, it took me a long time to read this book, because I simply became bored at times and would abandon it for other reading material, (although I am glad I didn't give up on finishing this book.) Also, I would wonder, "where is he going with all of this?" To answer the last question, it's not until the very end that his point becomes apparent. The other drawback: I am not sure who this book is written for. Is it written for the casual reader, like myself, or is it written for Goleman's peers, U.S. educators, parents, or school systems? I am quite sure who the book isn't written for, however: the adult who struggles with poor emotional self-awareness and literacy. This aspect of the book was an ultimate let-down for me, not to mention ironic. If, as Goleman argues, children with poor emotional intelligence often go on to live their adult lives spinning their wheels locked in toxic relationship styles, then reaching those adults who already fell through the cracks should be an obvious aim for the author. They are, after all, often parents to children who need (and are not getting) competent emotional lessons at home. While I personally was able to glean useful lessons from the book, I could see less motivated adults becoming frustrated with this book and never completing the reading, much less applying any of the corrective examples to their own lives.

This book explained so much and was useful to me in counseling students. This is well written and easily understood. I highly recommend.

I don't usually find myself buying or reading books labeled "Self-Help." Not that I don't like myself, or consider myself unworthy of help--or beyond the realm of needing help--but I find the books labeled and marketed this way to be largely vapid and boring. This was not the case with Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence. This is a thoughtful, sober, and careful analysis of specific issues related to character formation and the steady slide of young people in society into a situation of being incapable of articulating, let alone controlling, their passions--as they would have been called in the 18th century--and directing their attentions and efforts in pursuits likely to lead to productive, healthy, and contented lives. What could be more urgent and important? The book details interesting scientific discoveries, data from studies and experiments, and intelligent and non-pedantic descriptions of complex phenomenon with ease. While offering ideas for solutions, Goleman is never so obnoxious as to pretend that providing training in emotional intelligence to young people will solve all of society's ills. In an age of mass shootings, youth nihilism and despair, and generations lacking the ability to toss their phones aside and pay attention to something for more than two minutes, focusing on a way to drive home the usefulness and almost unlimited upside of character formation (which Goleman concedes is actually what he's talking about at the end) seems a tremendous imperative. While the book begins with philosophy--where the answers ultimately lay--Goleman hopes to avoid that field by keeping the majority of the book in the hard(ish) sciences. However, if he wishes to succeed in reforming education along the conservative/classical (though thoroughly secular and traditionally liberal) lines he proposes here, he will need to get a bit more explicitly philosophical. There, I fear he will collapse into a heap of utilitarianism and collectivism and squander the good that this book hints towards and wishes to promise.