Coming out of a very painful, narcissistic relationship, this book has changed the way I view my life as it has unfolded. Not only did it validate my thought processes, but it gave me the tools to work through the grief and shame. I highly recommend this book to anyone that is in/wants to/ has left a narcissistic relationship.

I just have to say.. wow (in a good way)! I ordered this book after hearing Dr. Ramani talk about "mild narcissism", and I wanted to get to know more about this to a clinical stand point, because I was sceptical about one of my friends who might have NPD, or some variant. After reading this not only did I get better insight/advice on terms of how to deal with the relationship between my close friend and I. I began to look inward, and found that a lot of what Dr. Ramani says about different sides of people, and the same situation that seems to perpetually repeat itself true to myself to a slight extent. It may just be something along the lines of "self diagnosing" myself with NPD or maybe I'm just overthinking, but regardless It's Not You by Dr. Ramani is very clear and breaks down the different forms of Narcissism in a way that I'm sure everyone can understand with bulleted descriptions of the traits that Narcissists may possess, as well as stories that introduce new topics as you read along. It is definitely a 10/10 for me personally, and I hope this piece can reach many others as well if they are interested.

I just received my much anticipated copy of Dr. Ramani's new book with the beautifully designed cover encasing it (surprisingly gorgeous in person lol). I am super excited and grateful! This hard work of knowledge, experience, research, wisdom, and perspective is from an incredibly empathic, beautiful, and genius doctor that I highly trust and relate with. Have followed, been taught, and reading her books and materials for a couple years now. This book is beyond needed, validating, fascinating, and instrumental for healing in a time that has long been darkening and losing many to madness, selfishness, sinfulness, egocentric, confusing, painful, abusive, and toxic dynamics everywhere! Victimization and victimhood to extremes. Glorified and normalized even!!! But the many struggling and suffering are all too real and piling up! Whether work or personal relationships, marriages, families, children, friends Dr. Ramani has our back, our front, mind, heart, body, and welp the whole ... covered. Leading us out of fog and confusion. Out of codependency, trauma bonds, cogitive dissonance, gaslighting, abuse, and everything in between, into light and freedom with reassuring truth, reason, autonomy, strength, and clarity to start and continue your healing. That each and every one of us needs and deserves! Those who seek find, those who find and live in truth are set free! I praise and thank the Lord Jesus Christ for Dr. Ramani's excellent work and personhood that has helped me peel back the layers upon layers of my own pain and trauma, while learning to navigate the complex world around others who may never do their own work. From narcissists, the toxic, the wounded and unhealed, the flying monkeys, and the blind and ignorant I personally refuse to be a victim or perpetrator of pain any longer! Thank you Dr. Ramani! And thank you to every living soul, still breathing and fighting their fight in life, desiring peace and healing, deliverance out of and away from darkness and pain! You are loved, of such value and worth, more precious and strong than you know!!! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹🧹⚔️✝️🙌💪💞🤺

People are suffering in silence in narcissistic relationships that make them feel emotionally distressed all while they are trauma bonded and can't seem to leave. To me often narcissists seem unaware of what they are doing all while leaving chaos in their wake. To be honest I feel they are generally lacking in awareness even though by my very nature I point out the inconsistencies directly to them, challenging their own beliefs about themselves. Half the time narcissists seem to me like loving and caring people, while the other half of the time they are angry, temperamental, selfish and controlling. All while they seek narcissistic supply or compliments all the time. I know how to make them happy now, but I still find myself objecting to how they treat me. So what is lacking is often any real change for the better while I'm pulled along on the roller coaster ride. Sometimes you feel like you are dealing with a will of iron because they just won't change or adapt. So it was with great interest that I read this book to see if in fact the author had any suggestions for dealing directly with narcissists or was it more like herding cats, completely hopeless? The truth is, this author is concerned for the survivors of abuse even while she understand the behavior of narcissist to be the problem. What I found in this book affected me profoundly and made me feel validated. I've rarely seen so much compassion, so much deep insight and reality checks. The message of this book is to learn how to “interact with them differently.” This is a ray of hope in a dark world. This book is probably the most detailed and accurate portrayal of narcissism I've ever read. It is very true to life. By page 24 I was saying “Wow, this author really understands every level of how a narcissistic person thinks!” It was ultimately revealing. You will laugh! You will cry! This is really a study in human nature. If you are experiencing unrelenting anxiety, panic attacks, crying, confusion, feeling needed then rejected, experiencing someone making cruel comments, dealing with manipulation then feeling blissful for days on end when things go well! You need this book! Even if the narcissism is not that extreme, there are methods of dealing with it. The only thing I felt I must say after reading this book was that forgiveness is for you! If the other person doesn't care you've forgiven them then at least you are free. If they never say they are sorry. At least you are free. I felt anger and lots of other negative emotions for years before I finally gave up and just said enough is enough and forgave. One of my narcissistic relationships has healed (boundaries are in place) and is fine now with no more abuse. So it can happen. Other relationships are still in progress. I am not a doctor or therapist. This review is not medical advice. Please consult with your own psychologist or counselor before taking any advice. ~The Rebecca Review