Despite the heavy subject of physical and spiritual abuse, Tia's story radiates with hope and warmth. I would highly recommend this book to any Christian (or anyone!) who has always known in their heart that setting up a marriage as a hierarchy of authority provides an avenue for pain and injustice. Tia starts her memoir in her young teen years where she first encounters harmful gender hierarchy theology through a Baptist megachurch, and her story builds towards her escape from an abusive marriage in her thirties. Through that timeline, she shares with us the building blocks of harmful theology that groomed her to accept worse and worse treatment throughout her marriage. On that theme, some may ask, "Why did she let it go this far?", but we as the readers can see the psychological abuse, "biblical" teachings on womanly submission, and isolation she experienced throughout her journey; leaving marital abuse is hard when you have been groomed to think it is God's will to endure it. I preordered her book this spring, but when it arrived in early August, I felt nervous to read it because of my own current painful (but healthy) journey of addressing harmful gender theology. Honestly, I was apprehensive that it might be a 'trauma dump', but Tia's story is NOT that. Rather, her story is reflective and warm and bursting with hope and recovery. I read the memoir in just a couple of days, and I experienced more joy than I did sorrow in reading her story. In particular, her heart towards her children and the grace she has for people radiates joy from the pages. As I mentioned above, my interest in her story started this spring, as I have been processing and healing from the gender hierarchy injustices common in the Church. I had been coached to believe things about women and men that never sat right with me (I knew something was "off" with these teachings, even as a teenager), but many of these teachings I accepted and internalized. Through theology study, I can now name and identify the patriarchal scale of "soft complementarianism" to "high control Christian patriarchy". I was raised in the former, and Tia experienced the latter. Even the "softer" form of gender hierarchy I experienced has left me with a lot of psychological and spiritual pain, and I am currently processing the stages of grief as I reckon with what I was taught about how I "should be" in this world as a "biblical" woman. Tia's bravery in addressing this topic head on is inspiring, and I can count her memoir among the helpful and healing books I have encountered these past few months on my journey. As a note, Tia does not write her memoir in a theology book style, but rather it is a fast-paced and reflective story. The theology themes stood out especially to me because that has been on my radar through my own journey and recent study.

I have followed Tia Levings for a few years on Instagram, and when she announced the publication of her memoir, I couldn't wait to order and read it. Levings begins her memoir detailing her childhood in Michigan, followed by a move to Florida, where her family joined a Baptist church. Believing that she will find acceptance by God and her community by more strictly adhering to the tenets of her church, she shrugs off most "worldly" things and doubles-down on her beliefs. She marries a man she believes was the "perfect" mate chosen for her by God, and spends the next several years raising a family of five and suffering emotional, mental, psychological and physical abuse from her husband. If you are familiar with the Quiverfull movement, or any of the strict fundamentalist Christian churches where women wear dresses pilfered from "Little House on the Prairie" and men are in charge of EVERYTHING -- this is the type of life Levings and her family lived. She clearly shows how this insular Christian environment, through family structure, sermons preached from the pulpit, and a vast enterprise of fundamentalist books and homeschool curriculum, sanctioned and perpetuated domestic violence against women and children. I struggled to read some of the chapters, not because of the writing (which was incredibly engaging and moving), but because of the abuse she endured at the hands of her husband. I had to set the book down for a day or two after reading a chapter because I was so simultaneously full of rage and tears. Fortunately, Levings was able to craft a writing and blogging career online. The freedom she found from earning her own money, along with her online community of friends and listening to her intuition in an effort to protect her children, resulted in her and her children's escape from her husband and their father. Later chapters detail her life after she left, and the steps she took to heal from the abuse and create a healthy life for herself and her kids. Levings' memoir is truly a story of hope, strength, resilience, and the power of listening to one's inner self. Recently on her IG, she posted that the evangelical fundamentalism she believed in "talked a lot about freedom in Christ. The trouble was, it never felt free." I can attest that I, as a former Christian, also never felt truly free in Christ. Her brave story shows how damaging fundamentalist Christianity is, which is a message that is sorely needed as the United States increasingly marches toward becoming a theocracy instead of a democratic republic.

Such beautiful writing. I read this book far into the night when I should have been sleeping. I cried so hard at times as I could feel the pain and lose the author went through. By far one of the best books I have read.

This book took my breath away. Tia writes with such clarity, such heartfelt connection to abused, subjugated women and the battle for autonomy and self awareness. As I read this book, I felt her pain, I agonized, I cried, I cheered! As a mother of a son who joined a high control religious group 10 years ago, I understood her life saving quest for her freedom. I recognized the evangelical commands and expectations. I respect and admire Tia's parents as they allowed Tia her choices and then were there to help rescue her and the grandchildren. I hope one day I too can be a safe haven. This book is so important especially now with the political agenda that is upon us. Thank you Tia for your strength, for your courage and for your valuable insight in how to find yourself and give your children a life of possibilities! We are all in awe of you.

I highly recommend Tia's story! It isn't easy to read, but impossible to put down. Tia's telling of her abuse and escape from it is vulnerable and honest, timely and important, powerful and hopeful!

I can’t say enough good things about this book. Standing on its own as a memoir, it’s phenomenally written, profound and gorgeous. Then as one woman’s account of fundamental Christian patriarchy its horrifying and deeply edifying. Tia is so profoundly brave and such a gorgeous writer. I wish I hadn’t read this on kindle so I could instantly give it to friends because I’m aching to discuss all of the parts of it. Read it, savor it, and may we all grow from it as the author has.