I have been looking for a book that really helps me to figure out what I've been dealing with for the past 5 years, and what went wrong. No one could ever tell me what I should be saying or how to actually deal with these type of people. I always got "run away" answers. Not especially helpful when that wasn't an option. I also feel strongly that this should be required reading in high school. This is REAL life and all of us will have to deal with these type of people at some point. Anyway, I love that the author keeps it simple with laymen terms and life scenarios to help you see the big picture and how to protect yourself. Logic and reason simply do not work on these extreme type of people, and that has been especially hard for me to grasp. This book is for everyone and I will be pushing for my book club to read it!!

Great insight to mean people I bought this because I am dealing with an unbelievably high conflict client. This book showed me how to identify and deal with unbelievably horrible people. Highly recommend this for anyone dealing with people with this type of mental illness.

Although it had some good information, it was not worth $14 for the Kindle edition. It was a really short book.

I wish I had read this book in my ‘20s, but it wasn’t written then. I was married to a narcissist and later to a high conflict person who used me as his target. We all have had experiences with people exhibiting malicious borderline personality disorders. Studies indicate that sociopathic personality disorders are increasing in the USA. Overpopulation, advertising and particularly social media are some factors for this, and the author points out some other factors. This book is written in a straightforward and well organized way. There are endless variations of personality disorders, since each individual is unique; however, the author’s outline is a helpful tool to observe warning signs so you can protect yourself. A knowledge of psychology is essential to survival.

This book should be required reading for anyone who interacts with other humans. My husband and I wanted to read this book to help us better understand an ugly divorce between loved ones, which it very much has, but it has also shed light on a few other relationships with difficult people we’ve known over the years. Lots of “aha” moments while reading this book! Eddy provides insight into the psychology of personality disorders while also offering practical methods for avoiding conflict with them. Had we read this book 20 years ago, it would have saved us years of angst in dealing with a family member whose personality disorder/high-conflict personality has caused much drama in our extended family. We might have been better equipped to diffuse conflicts with this person and interact in a way that maintained a relationship while preserving healthier boundaries. We will encourage our children to read this when they are older to help them recognize signs of HCPs, know how to deal with them when they have to, and avoid the misery that accompanies getting pulled into close relationships with these types of people.

I really like the practical format of this book, but I don’t think it’s possible to say that someone who had repeated bouts of bad luck with employment has automatically a HCP (high conflict personality). I think toxic working environments are more common than the good ones so asking around for proof of “problem personality” can be simply an exercise in confirmation bias. Sometimes you don’t know what environment you are walking into and the motivations behind your hire. In one of my jobs the plan was to pit me against a person they wanted to manage out. But things worked the other way around/ I left instead. Now my former colleague will happily say something negative about me, but if the person inquiring is the author then he may conclude I’m an HCP too!

I love Bill Eddy’s books and really enjoyed reading this one. And I love the 90% rule offered. It is an easy read that explores how those disguised as awesome, charming, smart, popular, productive, successful, and talented may be extremely toxic and dangerous. It addresses how they miss detection, how they connect with certain-others, and how they positively present themselves. It describes how they later engage in efforts to destroy their targets of blame, and offers how to identify toxic personalities and how to protect yourself from them. I have found that most don’t seek out truths like these until they’ve experienced the toxic’s destruction, and only then to self-improve. Most want to understand their role in it, how it happened, how they misread the toxic’s motive and agendas, and learn how-to prevent it from happening again while protecting themselves and others. I have learned so very much reading Bill Eddy’s books and I frequently visit his website ‘ highconflictpersonalities.com ‘ and subscribe to his on-line articles. I absolutely recommend this and his other books, and his website articles, classes, and tools, etc. to all who enjoy public service, or who mediate, represent, or judge, or who are in a position of authority (supervisors, leaders, clergy, parents, etc.), and to those who simply enjoy helping others. The End.

I read another review that said people seek information about this topic after they have been burned. That is true for me and the results were catastrophic. Advice from the book is to not confront the difficult person but placate them because to confront them may feel good in the moment but in fact you have become targeted for bullying and destruction and things get so much, dangerously, worse. I find an entire roadmap in this book of what just happened to me and it is helpful after the fact to help make some sense of the devastation and loss. I only wish I had known sooner so this pain could have been avoided. This book is easy to read and gets to the point. My thanks to the author.