I am truly glad many people pulled what is good about this book. He has a great mental visual with his "crazy cycle" that can be helpful to any marriage. And his COUPLE section showed some very good insights for men about women and his CHAIRS section also showed great advice for women toward their husbands but was more harsh toned than needed and than the male section. But his basic premise is that if the wife will show unconditional respect then this will "trigger" unconditional love. If she meets a condition he will "love". Christlike love does not come from a condition someone meets but from Christ Himself. Meeting a condition negates that it is unconditional. It may inspire and spur on and bring affection, but not unconditional love. He reinforces this," ...the best way to keep the Crazy Cycle contained is by having wives show husbands respect and then having husbands show wives their loves." He consistently slants that the husbands "just can't" love their wives until they 'feel' respected. He repeats this and admits he truly believes that is THE key. It is her that needs to move first. A good Christian book should not slant to one side but lift up and encourage both. All need to learn to understand the opposite sex and learn to unselfishly meet the needs of the other as we grow in Christ. It does a few times state the more mature one should follow Christ and love and/or respect. Yes, if he kept that as the focus it would have been a good book. He doe not follow his own statements here throughout the book. Also he says a man is "first among equals" but they just can't love their wives because they are disrespected. I could push this easily that a man as the leader should follow Christ and be a spiritual leader and love as the Lord commanded no matter what others or his wife do. The husband represents Christ and did make the first move towards a sinful church. But equal treatment of husbands/wives would have been wonderful. He also in a few places makes insulting remarks about women. For instance statements like" all men have had to read their wives minds" and that most fat women have skinny husbands when discussing not listening to husbands. If he wants to discuss ladies respecting husbands but insults and disrespects women at all in his book it harms his work. Perhaps many a young wife has done this mind reading, but certainly not all and I have felt that way about my husband at times especially when newly married. Take the good out of it but I would not recommend it as a great marriage book.

Got this for a bible study group discussion. It’s got a great take on husband and wives and what they want most in the relationship and how to remedy a marriage that is struggling or to build a stronger marriage.

This book is about communication and respect for each other. I believe if an individual has a problem in the relationship instead of blaming the other person take a look at yourself.

The most amazing book i have read on marriage. Wonderful strategies and principles to implement bases on the Word of God

This marriage book doesn't bash either side. Women and men have different needs. According to Dr. Eggerichs, they hear vocal and body language differently. Understanding the difference is the secret behind better communication and "Love & Respect" given one to another. It is sound, down-to-earth information that truly is a NEW perspective. Even men will listen. But this book may work if only one spouse reads and applies what is found. Past marriage suggestions typically push the man to changing his nature and becoming more feminine in response to his love seeking wife. This author points out that God didn't make man feminine, so why should he change? He does offer many suggestions as to how to understand what a wife is searching for and how best to communicate to her needs and feelings. The opposite is true for women. God didn't make women to have more body than mind need, as men. Why try to make one turn into the other? The answer, according to "Love & Respect" is the husband learning to see the woman's need for love needs, and for the wife noting the man's needs and different ways of coping. Thus, mutual understanding is as important as mutual communication. But...communication must be in a form recognized by the spouse. This need-meeting takes into consideration not only Biblical principals, but new scientific brain function evidence. They seem to go hand in hand. This is not simply a Christian approach, although Dr. Eggerichs pulls no punches about his own beliefs and pulls scripture to back many statements. Also the book is endorsed and supported by Dr. Dobson and "Focus on the Family." Having remarried after becoming a widower, I have duel opportunity to look at the legitimacy of what is written. This is solid marriage relationship instruction. Highly recommended, at any age. A PERFECT WEDDING GIFT FOR THE NEW BRIDE & GROOM, any faith. My wife and I love the large print, due to aging eyes, but it also makes the book pages turn faster. Part One: THE CRAZY CYCLE defines the problem of communication between man and female in a new light. No blame, just different. Part Two: THE ENERGIZING CYCLE is the meat. It takes you thorough the female needs of Closeness,Openness,Understanding,Peacemaking,Loyalty,Esteem. Then it looks at the male's needs of Conquest,Hierarchy,Authority,Insight,Relationship,Sexuality. "Not wrong, just different." Part 2 may be all you need to read. Part Three: THE REWARDED CYCLE concludes the pink and blue differences and opportunity to improve any marriage, even those not in danger. Includes a generous appendix of things to do together to help your love and respect grow. Also recommended is a set of DVDs with this author presenting the material of this book. Good for groups or couples. Not pricey when you consider the excellent results. The author is quite a humerus, entertaining presenter. A MUST for church, family counselor, and public library shelves.